Well, it's been what, like 3 months since I last posted.. I guess i'll blog about my life now. 

Eh,

Nvm lol. 

enjoy-this-pic

Update!!

It's been a while & so much in my life has changed, like how did I even get to where I am now? I have no idea but it all feels right. I don't really know why cuz it's not like thaaaaaaat much is going for me rn but I just feel like I am exactly where I am supposed to be & things are just good. Like, everything is going to be okay. I don't know about you but that's the best feeling in the world. 

First things first, Provo. I've finally adjusted to life here & it's not too bad. I live with my best friend & 20 minutes from home. Like, yes please. The only bad part about it all is that Lis & Aim are still in Logan & they just need to move here already so that we can be together again cuz I miss them. Also, i'm still trying to figure this place out like adventure wise. I know what hikes & places I like in Logan but I don't know where anything is here. I got the all trails app so hopefully that will lead me to some good times. 

Second, my job. It gives me un-needed anxiety & stress but I love it. I feel like I have grown & learned so much already! Being a dental assistant is the best. The office I work at is bomb & my coworkers are top.

Third & lastly (but most importantly) MERV! Baby Merv is born! 03/03/2016, 9 Ibs 4 oz -- thank you Steve & Car! He has been in the nicu so I haven't even met him yet but from pics he is perfect & last night I saw him through the hospital window. It's like he is in jail or something. Anyway, he goes home today so I am going to meet him rn so gotta go. Bye.

Posting these selfies so that my last post isn't the first thing on my page anymore... that's all. 

Lis-Me-&-My-Huge-Glasses

Ok. Where do I start?

Ok.

I guess I'll start by saying I can't believe it took me 9 years to get to the point where I (finally) feel comfortable talking about my eating disorder when I was 12. Yup, at 12 years old I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa & spent countless nights in & out of the hospital, in therapy, & when nothing was working, 6 months as an inpatient at the Center for Change. (omg thank you center you saved me) & that's not counting the everyday fight & the years of recovery at home after all of that shiz! That's pretty much all I am going to say about that (for now) because this is still a... special... no that's not the word, a sacred... def no, dang it what word am I looking for!? I guess personal will do. This is still a very personal thing in my life & I don't want to share it in detail with the online world. (who's even reading this anyway amirite?) You might be wondering why I am sharing it at all then? Well, let me tell you. Even though I've been quiet about it for all these years, I never wanted to be because I know how important it is to share your story, bring awareness to the issue, & recognize & help those struggling. So yeah, I guess I'm just realizing that sharing my story could help someone else struggling & encourage recovery as well as prevention cuz eating disorders are real & they are scary & no one deserves to suffer. I am a beyond happier person now than I EVER ever ever ever was when ED was taking over me. I'm so happy I had parents who supported me & did everything they could to help me. So thanks ya'll. 

#yayrecovery!

Love. Moe

so-much-perfect-in-this-photo

Can we just talk about how much in my life is about to change & how anxious/terrified/excited I am!? I am def one that gets comfortable with my daily life routine & even though I am always wanting to switch things up a bit, when it really comes down to it i'm like, no nvm, i'm good. Cuz scary!!! But guess what, things are changing & they are changing fast & i'm like kinda okay & not dead. 

Let me explain. 

So I have been living in Logan (working & going to school) pretty much ever since I graduated high school (so i'm super comfortable here obvi) & in about a month that's all about to change. I am moving to Provo. dun dun dun (I know, I know) How dare I do such a thing? (& while were at it.. if you are a Loagie & bash on Provo, don't. Just stop now cuz I don't wanna hear it) We all know Logan is perfect in so many ways & it's clear I've had the best of times living here buuut let's be real, Provo has potential, okay. Okay. Don't ask me where I will be living cuz idk & don't ask me pretty much anything else cuz idk but do ask me where I will be working (pls oh pls do) cuz that I do know! My bomb sister-in-law Carly got me a job at her dental office so that is awesome (I actually worked there for a summer right after high school & now I guess i'm going back yay) Kinda funny now that I'm thinking about it. I graduated high school with my dental assisting certification, worked as a dental assistant for a summer, moved to Logan & went to school/worked for 2+ ish years, got my associates degree, & now i'm going back to provo to work as a dental assistant again at the exact same place as before. Cool. You might be thinking, "Was it worth it Melanie?" or "Are the loans you have now worth it?" Um for a second I wanted to say NO! Stupid moneys I hate you. Buuuuuut actually my answer is YES! Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes. Easily yes. It was all worth it. Every second spent in Logan has been worth it cuz Logan is my baby & I love all the memories/experiences/friendships i've made here & I wouldn't change a thing.

So yeah, my life is totally not going the way I imagined or the way I had planned but I think that's actually a good thing cuz what do I know anyway? Not much apparently. That doesn't mean i'm gonna stop planning out every detail of my life & imagining it going a certain way cuz that's def still happening, but I just need to be prepared for it to go nothing as planned & love every second of it!! 

#squad

A week & a half in the Philippines was NOT long enough. But I guess when you win a free trip you can't complain too much. I srsly had the time of my life while there & met some extremely remarkable people that I just really vibed with, ya know? The more I travel the more I realize how little of this world I have seen & how much of it I desire to see. #blessed to have had the privilege of meeting & getting to know such creative minds while in the Philippines. If you want the opportunity to serve abroad go here, http://www.help-international.org/  if you want some super sick shades made from sustainable materials or if you want to see our sick Philippines video go here, http://www.iwantproof.com/ & if you want to experience my trip via blog go here, http://www.wivios.com/phillipines-photos !!!

Happy List #3

Another Love by Tom Odell Zwette remix  |  doing "kayla itsines" & feeling stronger than ever & seeing real life results  |  Pristine by Mantaraybryn  |  realizing I should probably just make my happy lists music lists cause that's what they always end up being about |  sisters  |  Ghetto Cowboy by Bone Thugs n Harmony  |  NEW YORK TRIP  |  running again after taking a week break in new york & my shin splints seemed to be healed lol  |  my new boots from zara  |  we are studying the book of mormon this year in church #pumped  |  I literally just won a free trip to the Philippines with help international & I am dying rn cuz so happy, like, what!?  |  the new strainer I just got from Ikea, it is really similar to the soel boutique one that I have been wanting for forever & I just washed some grapes in it & so cute  |  ice drinks  |  my new york socks  |