Nobody-Can-Drag-Me-Down

Worrying is a waste of time. It doesn't change anything. It messes with your mind & steals your happiness. 

But to say I didn't worry would be a lie. (funny cause the song "The Age of Worry" by John Mayer just came on shuffle) I think anxiety runs in my family. When I was a little girl wind, rain, thunderstorms, blizzards, anything of the sort terrified me! I would call my parents & ask where they were & when they would be home, just to calm my mind during these times. When I was ever home alone (which I hated) I felt safer sitting outside in front of the garage rather than being inside my house because that way I had an easier escape route. (In my head it made perfect sense) Why would I want to be stuck inside my house with the murderer when I could just go outside where it's safe... duh. It's the obvious thing to do. Idk guys, I think back to these memories & they don't make any sense. At all. But what I find most interesting about it all is how much these things have changed but also how much they have stayed the same. I LOVE thunderstorms now, but natural disasters are still one of my biggest fears (lol cuz i'm in a natural disasters class rn) I love being home alone but if I spend too much time alone without human interaction I start to get sad. I know these are silly worries but they are real as ever. & as I have gotten older my worries have evolved & they just seem more & more taunting. 

I don't fully understand the mind & why we do, think, or act the way we do.. but one thing I do know for sure is that these last 20 years of my life have not been wasted time spent on worrying. Experiencing worry has made me practice patience, but more importantly strengthened my faith. I quickly learned that my worries & fears needed to be replaced with something else. Something bigger. Something greater. Something the opposite of worry. Faith. "Let your faith be greater than your fear" is a common (usually daily) thing said inside my head. I have to constantly remind myself this everyday. It's so easy to forget. I find that when I am serving others, doing good, & replacing my negative thoughts with positive ones, my fears decrease & my faith increases. Sometimes the plan you have for yourself is different than the plan the Lord has for you. I have to trust that He knows me better than I know myself & He knows what will make me MOST happy. I don't know everything, but I know enough.

Faith is not by chance but by choice

I choose faith. 

Love, Moe